Being Bahama

Waiting for the Sunrise

On my way into Journey’s End I saw a spectacular sunset the other day.  I stopped, got out of my vehicle to snap a photo of it for my scrapbook.  Just as I’d found the perfect angle to capture the beautiful image, storm clouds swooped in and hid it from view.

So it is with the Beowulf Squadron as well.  I suppose in many respects I fully expected our guild to come to an end.  After all, nothing lasts forever.   Still, I wasn’t prepared for how hard the news hit me and I’ve been trying to figure out why.

Certainly I’ve enjoyed meeting many of the guild members.  Nice folks.  But I’m sure I’ll still see them around.

Our guild leader, Jaegen Fenris, has decided to move on.  I know I’ll miss the interest and drama he’s brought to my world in recent months.  I’ve enjoyed working with him for the common good of the guild as well as the opportunity to get to know him personally.  But what I’m feeling can’t be summed up as the loss of a single friend either.

No, I guess what I’ll miss most is regular opportunity to invest in something that wasn’t simply for my own personal gain.  Sure, I love my business but, in many cases, my efforts amount to little more than a ’sold’ email from my vendor and a couple of credits.  I joined this guild thinking I’d just hang out a bit and avoid any guild responsibility. Last time I joined a guild I was quickly sucked into that and in the end was left frustrated and annoyed with mismanagement issues, increasing responsibility and skewed expectations.  No way I was going to repeat all that!

Except that I quickly found that not investing in the guild at all was unfulfilling as well.  So I kicked it up a notch and volunteered to solve a few problems I saw.  I made myself available to help welcome new members and helped with some minor administrative tasks here and there.  Nothing big or earth shattering or even important.  But nevertheless, it felt good to contribute.  I’d struck the perfect balance. 

I suppose that’s part of what made Journey’s End feel so much like home to me.  I was invested in it’s improvement without being overwhelmed by it.  I was comfortable and happy there.  Much of the credit for that goes to Mr. Fenris for allowing me to participate without forcing titles and responsibilities on me (well, until he asked me to be temporary Mayor lol).  I appreciated how willing he was to listen, his flexibility and understanding.

So now I’m waiting for the final weeks to tick by.  I’ve got plenty of things to do…. remodel my shop, mentor Jamaica, shop for supplies, design new outfits, increase my customer base….. but I’m keenly aware the sun is slowly setting on this chapter in my life.  And I’m waiting for the sun to rise on my next adventure.