Being Bahama

Confession

Ok, I’m ready to go public with my big secret.

I am afraid to fly. 

No, I mean really, really scared.

Space travel completely freaks me out. 

There.  I said it.  So how do I survive in a society that relies so heavily on traveling through space?  Not easily. For starters I only ever fly on my yacht…. piloted by a droid.  I strap myself in tight, say a prayer, close my eyes and anxiously wait till it’s over.  I am never more relived than when I finally find myself safely landed at my destination.

It’s interesting to note that for some reason I find public transportation easier to handle.  Perhaps it’s because I can convince myself that professional pilots are less likely to have a mishap.  Or maybe I just take comfort in the thought that at least I won’t die alone…

Despite the fact that I’ve always had this fear, I’ve been able to avoid acknowledging it…. until recently.   It started one day when my pilot droid malfunctioned leaving me stranded up in space.  It was my worst nightmare come true.  There I was, stuck floating some 3000m from a space station and a safe landing.  One minute I was in despair and certain I would die.  The next I’d be looking at the controls and trying to convince myself that I could do it, I just had to do it.  It was the longest half hour of my life. 

That incident is probably what made me agree to a flying lesson when Mayor Fenris offered.   I was shaking before we even got off the ground.  I don’t know how many times I almost backed out.  I wanted desperately to conquer my fear, to at least know I could live if my pilot ever malfunctioned again…. but the thought of going up there alone, even with him flying nearby, was almost more than I could handle.

He walked me through some basics and then flew with me to the site of what was to be my first and last training mission.  They started shooting at me and I just completely froze.  All I could see were visions of my lifeless body floating among the debris.   He finally yelled at me to move it and I did, somehow.  Safely back on the ground, I decided that it might be better just to get a spare pilot droid. 

I’ve gone up to tour some of Mayor Fenris’ ships and once even got in a gun turret.   I’ve learned that with an accomplished pilot at the helm, spaceships don’t have to be my worst enemy.  I’m still freaked out… but I’m feeling more in control of my fear.

I still can’t fathom ever piloting a ship alone.  I just don’t think that’s ever gonna happen.  But with a spare droid and folks to call if I get into trouble (perks to being in a pilot guild), I think I’m better equipped to handle the fear of flying day to day.