Being Bahama

Obligations

I’ve always been careful about the responsibilities and obligations I put on my plate.  It’s not that I consider myself a weak person, but everyone has a breaking point and I aim to make sure I never get to mine.

I suppose you could attribute my whole life here to my tendency to avoid too much responsibility.  It’s a wonderfully romantic story about how I ran off with Bermuda.  But the truth is, as much as I was leaving to be with him, I was also running away from my life at home. 

As an only child, the pressure to fulfill my parent’s dreams and expectations always weighed heavily on me.  My mother never missed an opportunity to make her feelings known about what she thought an ideal life should look like.  She openly criticized the young women who left our small town, unmarried, looking for a different life.

I sometimes wonder if I’d ever have mustered the courage to leave on my own had Bermuda never landed in my life the way he did.  I’m a bit embarrassed to admit that the answer is, mostly likely, no. 

Part of what may have attracted me to Bermuda in the first place is that he put no responsibilities on me.  He was used to taking care of himself. Even when we married, he didn’t expect me to play the part of the housewife waiting to serve him, to take care of him. 

The freedom I enjoyed in my marriage and in owning my own business came to an abrupt halt with the unexpected arrival of Bermuda Jr.  I hadn’t planned to have children - ever.  That’s not to say I don’t love BJ… just that I didn’t expect him. I’m proud to be his mother ….but make no mistake, I’m glad that he’s moved from childhood to manhood.

More recently, I’ve found myself bound to another child of sorts.  The Commerce Union is young and is still developing.  I’m happy with how things have gone so far but I can’t say that there hasn’t been a lot of work and stress involved at times.

I am most fortunate that fate has brought such good people to CU.  Without them, it would be much more difficult to fulfill my obligations.