Being Bahama

On My Mind

It’s been days since I last heard from my acquaintance.  And I’d be lying if I told you he hasn’t been on my mind since I last received word from him.

I still don’t know if he’s been completely truthful with me. Instinctually, I feel that there’s some truth in what he’s told me despite his rather odd behavior and outlandish tales.  The story he’s told me, true or not, has altered my perceptions and given me quite a bit to think about.

With so many real threats out there, I’m sure the government has closed my file by now… or at the very least shoved it to the bottom of the pile.  Times like these it really pays to have kept myself out of trouble and have that solid reputation on which to stand.

But my thoughts keep going back to this man.  He’s either in custody or on the run, neither option is ideal.  I still don’t trust him, but I don’t necessarily wish him ill either.  The worst part is, I don’t know if he knows that.

One of the last things he said to me in the call just prior to his capture was, “What have you done?”  I admit this bothers me.  It bothers me to think that he might assume I went through with my threat to report him… that where ever he is, he thinks that I brought on his troubles. 

Then too, it bothers me that he’d called me.  He knew he was in serious trouble.  Didn’t he have anyone else to call?  Someone to call for help?  Did he think that I could help him somehow?  Did he mistakenly think that I’d be willing to risk my life for him?  And if he did….. have I let him down?

Part of me hopes I’ll hear from him again.  If only to know he’s ok and that he doesn’t hold me responsible for what’s happened.  But then again, any contact with him threatens my reputation.  I don’t want to be drawn into his troubles.  I have enough of my own.  Not the least of which is getting him off my mind.